life lessons – when you see something good – say it

Words taken from the life history of my mom.

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When you see something good be Generous and Say it.

When we see something good be generous and say it: Everyone will be blessed.  “Cheer and bless and brighten every single day”.  Don’t be fake or phony, but when you see good or beauty or potential or talent, tell someone:  And look for those things.  Look for the good the beautiful and wonderful things in life.

Many times I have told people what a nice smile they have, or how I like their hairstyle, or what a cheerful voice they speak in, or a hundred other things that we notice about people and we don’t say.  Most of the time, people will say things to me like “well, you just made my day” or “I needed to hear that”.  You end up not only lifting the other person but their response to it lifts you.  So you feel good about them, and they feel good about themselves and you, it creates a positive zone and it’s not fake and it’s not flattery.  It’s actually noticing something.  It’s like noticing the beautiful blue sky and saying to the Sky “Sky, you are a beautiful blue color today”.  It’s not flattery it’s not dishonest.

It takes a couple of things: 1) Noticing the good and 2) Remarking on it.

Thanking a person.  Telling a person.  That is what the gratitude journal is.  It is noticing something that the Lord has given us and being grateful for it.  Doing that changes us.  We can either contribute in this world for good or for evil.  I just think in this life you want to contribute for good.   Right now BYU has a campaign where they give out cameras and ask people to take pictures of the beauty they see and send them the pictures.  Way to go BYU.

So, look for the good.  And when you see the good, share it!

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life lessons – feeling special

These are the words written by my mother – taken from her life’s history.

 

Feeling Special

I had a good childhood.  It was filled with many things, happy times, and trips, loving people, variety and stability both, along with a share of sorrow and hurt, sadness and pain.  I had good health and a good mind. My parents loved me, aunts that surrounded me,  and uncles and a grandmother who loved me and made me feel special. That is the first thing I want to write about.  Feeling special.

I grew up feeling special.  I don’t know when I realized I felt special, but I think I must have always felt that way.  Sometimes I would imagine I was a princess hidden in an unfamiliar world like sleeping beauty taken from the castle and raised in the forest. I knew I was loved, I felt smart; I felt I was supposed to do something.  I thought about it and pondered it from time to time, and I didn’t know what that something was, but I knew I had a special mission. From time to time, I would, when the moment seemed right, explore how other people felt.  I would ask them if they felt they had a mission.  But no one ever responded positively.  I have, as an adult, found others who felt that way, but I never did while growing up.  Maybe it was this sense of mission, or maybe it was that no one else felt that way, or maybe it was the love of my parents and aunts, uncles, grandparents, perhaps a combination of all, which made me feel special. Maybe it was a gift from the Lord.  I know it protected me growing up and I know it helped me in my life.  It made me very careful to choose the right, to make wise and obedient choices. Sometimes I would think, “What would a mission President’s wife do”.  I think I thought that because in the Mission Field, a Mission Presidents wife was the highest authority that I knew.  So I thought of her and what she would do and what choices she would make.   I know this feeling special has contributed to my optimism and happiness. I am grateful for it.

So the lesson here would be to help people feel special, especially our children and family.  Knowing we are children of divine parents, sent here to learn and grow to become more like our parents in heaven is a special thing.  I have heard many general authorities speak of our personal missions.  Some people call it destiny or fate.   One of my favorite books is Daughter of a King  a story about a little girl who is taught that she is a princess.  That is how I felt and what I want my children and grandchildren to feel.  To feel special.

lessons from mom – intro

I was blessed to have a great mom.   She was an incredible person, in just about every way.  She was the kind of person that you loved to be around.  Everyone loved talking to her, because she was an amazing listener, she really cared about you and what you had to say.   She had this way about making you feel comfortable and good about yourself.   Mom was a student of life, loved learning and studied many subjects.  I’d often find her researching something on the computer; the history of a country, the life of a famous musician or world leader, or anything that sparked her intrest.  She was a woman of faith.  She loved the Lord and had a very close relationship with Him.  Talking to her and being around her made you want to do better, and be better.  She never gossip-ed.  Not once, did I hear her gossip.  She spoke and acted like a lady, (something that i’m still working on).  She was refined in every way.  She was wise, and her counsel or advise was pretty spot on.  She was a devoted and loyal friend.  She loved music, art, culture, people, laughing and life.  She loved good food, time with family, and a great conversation.  She had this delightful and contagious giggle, a beautiful smile, and sparkly green eyes.  She was one of my very favorite people in the world, and next to my sister T, my most dear and best friend.   Like all mothers, they have the most beautiful and profound impact on your life.  You love them with all your heart.  I will never doubt that she loved me.  I still feel connected to her and I know her spirit is alive as ever, and i’m sure radiant and more beautiful than I can imagine.  But oh, how I miss her terribly.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, which then returned again in 2009.  She fought cancer bravely, selflessly, and courageously.  The last 2.5 years of her life I was fortunate enough to see her almost on a daily basis, in which I worked on her life’s history.  At the time, I had a feeling that I should help her work on it, inspiration from a loving Heavenly Father to help my mom share her life history and for her daughter to learn and know that life.  We didn’t finish the history, but we did capture over 100 pages of experiences and lessons from her life.  The thought came to me the other day, to share her “life lessons” on a weekly basis on my blog as I think that we all can benefit from her life and her lessons.  There is power in remembering.  There is power in feeling connected to our loved ones who have passed on.  To listen.  To apply.  Building on the foundation of their lives and the things they taught us and what we can learn from them.

It is in that spirit, that I hope to share some of the “Life Lessons” of my Mom.  I plan to post weekly with an excerpt from her history.

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Life Lessons

Now in this thing we do rejoice; and we labor diligently to engrave these words upon plates, hoping that our beloved brethren and our children will receive them with thankful hearts, and look upon them that they may learn with joy and not with sorrow neither with contempt, concerning their first parents.  Jacob 4:3

For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God: for we know that it is by grace that we are saved after all we can do.  2 Nephi 25:23

I want this to be a record and a testimony of the things that I have learned in my life, so that my children and grandchildren can benefit from the things, which have blessed me.  I think that as a parent you want the best of your life to be with your children, you want to share the experiences that have taught you and blessed your life so that those truths can continue on to bless their lives.  And so I write, something I am not comfortable with nor do I find easy, but I will not live forever and I will not always be around to tell the stories and teach the lessons. Perhaps, if I write them down, there will be times when they are read and benefit my posterity long after I am gone. I also know that these are not the only lessons in life nor are they necessarily the most important ones.  There are many lessons I have not yet learned and many things I may have brought with me and just knew, gifts from a loving father who knew what I needed to be successful in my earth experience.  But these experiences written here are a few things I learned and felt they were important enough to pass on.

I just heard a quote, it is not what a person writes that is important, but what they choose to write about, and this gives me comfort, which the importance of what I do is in the subjects, not in the mechanics…. I have hope…