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hard things

Yesterday was full of hard things.  Sadness.  Innocent people suffering, even loosing their lives.  My heart is with Boston.

It is hard to take in, understand and process these events that keep happening.  The Why in the mess of it all?

I also have a work-friend who’s dad is fighting cancer. ¬†I feel for her. ¬†It brings back the feelings that I have and had about loosing my mom to cancer. ¬†The pain I felt in that loss, the pain of loosing a loved one, grief. ¬†Real physical heart-pain caused by the loss of life of someone so precious to you and you love so dearly.

That experience has caused me to grow immensely and look at life differently.  It also has provided me with deep feelings for people who are going through pain.  To watch good people suffer is really hard.
Life ¬†is full of hard things, painful things, things that we don’t have any control of and that really hurt us, and our loved ones.

I’ve been thinking about all of the pain that is in the world. ¬†The abuse, wars, fighting, loosing loved ones, loneliness, depression, struggles, selfishness, greed, pride,¬†tragedy, and hate.

There is ALOT of pain and suffering in our world. ¬†It’s all over the news, in the faces of those around us, within our own minds and hearts.

I don’t have all the answers. ¬†I’m trying to work¬†thorough¬†my own feelings and thoughts, and my own pain. ¬†There are people suffering in my neighborhood, my family.
There is also messy “stuff” ¬†happening in my extended family that I don’t¬†agree¬†with or think is right. ¬†It hurts those I love. ¬†It hurts me.

I  can be the source of Pain.  Even though I try my best not to, we all inflict pain on others.  Ironically, we hurt those we love the most.

I’m learning that the more I learn about pain, unfairness, and suffering the more I am amazed at the¬†resiliently¬†of the human spirit and the life of Jesus Christ.

He is the healer and has suffered for our pain individually and collectively.
So we don’t have to suffer alone. ¬† So we can be forgiven when we hurt, and we can forgive those that hurt.
The knowledge of that brings me hope and peace when I don’t understand the WHY?

I rely on my faith in Christ.
It helps me focus on the light amidst much darkness.
There is still so much good in the world.

Tax day – weekend wrap

Happy Tax day. ¬†I’m really glad¬†that¬†I did my taxes in February. ¬†I’m grateful for the country where we live, but sometimes I’m not grateful to pay so many taxes.

Today, when I left for work my tulips looked beautiful with a background snow dusting. ¬†To be honest, i’m getting over the snow but it keeps coming back, just in little bits. ¬†It’s ok I guess, as long as it dosen’t kill all my tiny plants.


This weekend we had our first¬†saturday¬†soccer game, of the soccer team I help coach. ¬†It’s a special needs soccer league, that my lil sis MizS plays on. ¬†It brings joy to my life to be around these sweet kids. ¬†I’ll post more about it later.

MizE wes there kicking soccer balls and all sassed out with her new shades.  I love this little woman.


We also went to gormandize bakery in SLC. ¬†It’s this amazing french bakery/cafe that is pheenom. ¬†The french have got it figured out in the desert¬†department.


I spent the day with these two kids on Saturday.  MisZ and little MrEv.   We had so much fun.  Sweet and awesome people they are.


I also had dinner in this canyon. ¬†Can’t wait for summerrrrr.


goodbye spring

Do you know what is the worst?

When a winter strom comes in and kills all the almost-blooming-tulips.

It’s a wierd storm. ¬†It’s a wind storm with winds and winter-tundra-esque with 70+MPH winds. ¬†Just think – ¬†the plains of wyoming.

I guess, I should be glad that the only thing damaged was my tulips.  I was just really looking forward to meeting all of them and now they are all drooped and blown over.

My daffodils though, they made it.  I love how hearty those guys are.

Here is a shot of the bench where I live from further west.  Crazy storm.


polka dots & colors

There is a whole lot going on in this outfit.

I like it.

I am loving that I can use all my thrift store finds,  patters, colors and grandma belts to create some funky fun outfits.

The trends are so fun right now.

there lots going on with thie outfit#paynoattentiontothecounter

color explosion!

Don’t worry about that my hair isn’t done and my bathroom is a hot mess.

I haven’t unpacked yet. ¬†It’s only been a week?


1 month old seeds & garden update

Don’t you just love spring! ¬†I’m really into it.

I’m looking forward to my garden,¬†camping,¬† hiking, fishing, BBQ’s, concerts and long summer nights.

B and I have been working hard getting our garden ready and prepped. ¬†Some of my seeds haven’t come up, so looks like all my squash plants i’ll have to buy. ¬†Bummer. ¬†Not sure what I did wrong.

Here are a few shots of the yard, garden, I snapped this morning.

It’s coming along but there is still TONS of work to do. ¬†So fun!

daffodils all in a row.  Love the cedar house! ewe!  and the airconditioner.  I mean, what a place to put that thing!

daffodils all in a row.

these little ones are going outside.  they were my backup in case my march plantings didn't make it.  they did.

these little ones are going outside.

the garden in coming along.

the garden in coming along.

peas. onion. carrots.  1 month old.

peas. onion. carrots. 1 month old.  June Harvest!

tulips everywhere!

tulips everywhere!



What a beautiful holiday. ¬†Spring is wonderful and the symbols of life after death, spring after winter, the miracle of Christ, and the hope and peace that we will see our loved ones again. ¬†My mom. ¬†B’s Dad. ¬†My grandparents. ¬†My sister. ¬†Those loved ones we’ve lost we will see again, all¬†because¬†of the hope in the Resurrection of Christ. ¬†He lives. ¬†The miracle of his life, sacrifice and¬†resurrection¬†fill me with peace,¬†amazement, hope and desire to be better. ¬†More kind, loving, giving, generous and the best person that I can. ¬†For Him.

I love to celebrate Easter.

I helped MizS with a little talk in the primary. ¬†It was about easter and the resurrection of Christ. ¬†After she finished she said “I did it. ¬†I did it.” ¬†I also helped one of my nephews read a scripture from Matthew.

Matthew 28:6 He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.

We had a special easter breakfast of Gluten free pumpkin muffins (for my gluten free sis) orange juice, eggs, toast and fruit.  I used my crystal glasses.   MisS loved her yellow easter basket and was so excited for the easter eggs filled with money.  She is saving up for a trip to sea-world.  B is just the sweetest in all the land.

We then had easter dinner and traditional egg hunt with my family.

I thought of my mom.  I missed her.  But, the joy of easter helps take the sad away.

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